Hard Lessons Learned From Writing My Last Pilot

Finishing my last pilot script was frustratingly tough for me. Finding time to write outside of my 12-hour work days was a big challenge. And when I did have time to write, generating creative inspiration in my exhausted state wasn't always easy. Getting sleep was never a more precious commodity.

Committing to my 365 project of writing every day this year helped me maintain some semblance of consistency, but this damn script has still felt like an albatross on my shoulders for months, pecking at my brain and squawking about how much I suck as a writer.

And that's not what writing should feel like.

So now that the script is finally done, I'm taking this opportunity to look back at the hard lessons I've learned along the way and committing to doing things differently in the future. Because oh no... I'm not doing this again... EVER...

Hard Lesson #1 - I need to write faster.

I started brainstorming this idea in July of 2015. I finished readable drafts on 11/17/2015, 01/22/2016, and 03/15/16. 8 months from start to finish is unacceptable. Broadcast networks develop brand new pilot scripts in 3 months or less!

Next time, I'm putting myself on a strict deadline schedule and not letting things drag out.

Hard Lesson #2 - I need to get to script faster.

3 full months of my 8 month writing time was spent working on the outline phase, which turned out to be a waste of my time since there were so many things I didn't figure out until I got to the script phase. Continuing to write and rewrite my outline for so long was just another way for me to procrastinate. There are plenty of writers who never write outlines before diving into script.

Next time, I'm allowing myself two drafts of an outline tops - a first draft and a revision. That's it. Then I need to start writing the script. And speaking of procrastinating...

Hard Lesson #3 - I need to stop giving in to fear.

I gave myself way too much permission to procrastinate on this project. Justifying my stalling with complaints about my long hours and sleep deprivation. Reasoning with myself and allowing myself to ignore what I had to do.

But I know the truth - all procrastination is fear. Fear was the root issue under all of my procrastination. Fear my story sucked, fear I would be found out as a giant fraud, fear of people telling me they were shocked I was such a terrible writer - these fears consumed my every waking moment.

And the worst part is I listened to all of them. I allowed myself to believe my fears and stepped away from my keyboard so they wouldn't come true. Which is ridiculous because by stepping away, I was doing the biggest thing that would ensure my fears came true.

Next time, I'm not giving in to those thoughts. The only thought I need in my brain is, "What do I want to create today?"

Hard Lesson #4 - My perfectionism is crushing me.

Seriously, it's not good. I beat myself up so much, I should have a frickin' gold MMA belt or whatever the big prize is in that world. I blame my academic overachieving upbringing for teaching me that a perfect score is always the goal.

The truth is there is no "perfect" in writing. A script evolves to a finishing point, not a perfect score. Next time, I'm giving myself full permission to be imperfect.

These were hard but important lessons for me to learn and I'm taking them into the future with an open heart and mind. Thankfully, I did have a few good takeaways that were the silver lining to my experience --

Happy Lesson #1 - I'm getting better at character and dialogue.
Those were my biggest weakness after breaking up with my former writing partner. 9 pilot scripts later, my characters are finally jumping off the page and sounding like real people. Not quite Rob Thomas/iZombie level cleverness yet, but much better than when I started.

Happy Lesson #2 - Writing groups are my best tool for success. 
My writing groups were invaluable for getting feedback and finding new ways to attack a script that I was steady hating throughout. They also gave me deadlines, encouragement and support. Hooray for writers supporting other writers!

Happy Lesson #3 - Soundtrack music is my jam. 
Listening to instrumental film scores helped me focus and concentrate, and a full album cycle was a great way to do a writing sprint. The soundtracks that got the most play during this script writing process included Outlander, Jurassic World, and X-Men First Class. Thank you Bear McCreary, Michael Giacchino, and Henry Jackman!

Now that this script is done, I can finally embark on my self-imposed challenge of writing 6 scripts in 2016. With 290 days left in the year, that works out to a script every 48 days or so, i.e. - a script every 7 weeks. Ha!

Let's get started...

(If you liked these images, why not follow me on Instagram?)

Wake Up and Smell the Character Development

After years of calling myself an aspiring TV writer, pounding out 7 original pilots and 5 spec scripts of existing shows, I recently had what can only be described as a rude awakening --

I don't know what the f#*% I'm doing.

Seriously, when this realization hit me, it was bad. An absolute whopper. A hundred times worse than every writer on the planet feels on any given day.

Allow me to explain --

My rude awakening was about how I've been approaching the writing of a new original TV pilot. Up until now, I've been coming up with ideas - imaginative worlds, cool conflicts, plot twists and cliffhangers. I've filled pages and pages in my brainstorming journal with discoveries and stakes that spill forth as the concept takes shape - "And then this happens, until so-and-so realizes they're the same person! Oh SNAP!"

Then I would create a whole series proposal that includes season arcs and mythology tracking. Story beats would be thrown onto my board, reorganized, and rewritten until an outline was finally formed. Then I would start writing the pilot script.

And it would be around this time that I would ask myself, "Now who are these characters and what do they want?"

Wrong, Teresa. Wrong.

I recently attended an event at the WGA with Jason Katims, creator Friday Night Lights, Parenthood, and About A Boy. The evening opened with a series of clips from his shows, including a hospital scene from Friday Night Lights.

Fans of the show will recognize it just from this screenshot, I'm sure.)

Within minutes, I was in tears. Free flowing, can't-stop-even-when-the-lights-come-up tears. I didn't know the show's logline or underlying theme or anything, but I was hooked. In a heartbeat, I loved these characters, connected with them, felt they were alive, organic, and real, and I wanted to see more.

That's good writing.

And I realized that everything I've been doing - the plotting and the organizing - doesn't mean anything if I don't have characters who captivate and excite - like every single character in a Jason Katims show does. I've been trying to birth characters inside these meticulously planned worlds, when I should have been doing it the other way around.

I should be creating incredible characters and letting the world unfold in my mind around them. Develop a character I connect with first and then develop the conflicts, relationships, and story engine that will send that character on a compelling journey that I want to watch for 4 seasons and a movie.

It's all about character, stupid. It's television.

I've seen true fandom at Comic-Con - t-shirts, cosplay, action figures. Would anyone create fan art of the characters I've created in my 7 original pilots? Big fat NO.

Sigh...you live, you learn.

That's why this pilot rewrite I'm working on is a page one rewrite. The first iteration was an action-packed script with plot twists and oh-no moments, but the characters didn't sing. In fact, they could barely hum a tune. They were just pawns in my plot game.

So I'm taking my concept and turning it inside out. Starting with the characters and rebuilding the story from there. And so far so good! I'm liking it much more and I think the concept is stronger. More importantly, I'm enjoying the writing process more. It feels less like managing a chess game and more like telling a story.

I guess you really can teach an old dog new tricks. Writing is a never ending journey of learning. Thank goodness I found this breakthrough.

The Hump Day Update: Spring Awakening Edition

I have emerged from the ashes...with a pilot script!

Yes, dear readers, that's where I've been these past months. Writing, writing, writing - head down so I couldn't see all the good television and fun I was missing, focused on completing a new original pilot script in time for staffing season.

And I did it! It's done. Which means it's time to share all the things I did manage to squeeze in between my writing sprints these past two months...

In the midst of writing, I shot a vanity video for my agents at The Writers Junction - can't wait to see how it turned out!

Produced a friend's short film, with serious performances from these guys --

That may or may not have involved jumping into a pool fully clothed --

In the middle of the day, I had perhaps the most exciting celebrity sighting of my entire life - KITT!

I shot a few more episodes of Grey's Anatomy, helping to save fake patients like this sweet guy --

Had a handful of auditions at which I ran into lovely ladies like this one --

I attended writing group meetings --

Reading events --

And volunteered, of course. Presentations and events for Break the Cycle --

And WriteGirl --

Including a workshop at the Japanese American National Museum, where I found a profile on Mitsuye Endo, who I portrayed for years in Theatre Espresso shows. Me and Mitsuye --

Finally, nerdiness! Attended two PaleyFest panels, filled with ethnic talent --

And saw Eric Kripke, creator of Supernatural, speak at the Nerdist studio at Meltdown Comics--

The store was filled with comic goodies galore --

Finally, I threw a Pi Day dinner on 3/14, because I'm a nerd who loves pie. I made this banner of pi to over 3,000 digits to decorate my place --

Wow, I've been busy!

Back to writing...

Secrets...

So many things going on in my life right now that I can't talk about.  For example, I'm in Washington, D.C. right now for a secret conference.  (No, I'm not solving Sequestration - they have other chumps dealing with that...)

And I'm developing for television, which I also can't talk about.  Partly because the ideas are proprietary and precious commodities during pitch season, and partly because I don't want to jinx myself.

But rest assured, I am working hard on a bunch of exciting projects! Hopefully I can tell you about them soon.

If you want to see me in the midst of this end-of-summer secrecy, I'll be doing a public reading of the sci-fi romance novel I've been writing at Work in Progress at A Place to CREATE in Atwater Village on Sunday, August 18.  The event is free, though donations to the wonderful art school that hosts us are welcome.  Be sure to get there early to get a seat!

Crawling Past the Finish Line

I finished my latest pilot script.

And there was much rejoicing...



That feeble "yay" is about as much excitement as I can muster for this one. It took way too long to write and my voice is hoarse from fighting with my inner critic.

It's tough to know when it's time to stop working on a script. Writers are never satisfied - it's that perfectionist streak that drives our work. Sometimes we need an intervening force tell us to move on.

Well, I got mine in the form of my wonderful agents, so I'm moving on. Phew!



Next up, reading scripts for staffing season and writing a spec for the writing programs.

And of course, pimping the Kickstarter campaign for Early Retirement - have you contributed yet?

The Hump Day Update: Summer's End Edition

Summer is over (boo) and the fall is already in full swing. My week has been wonderfully and stressfully full!

First, because I'm planning to once again donate my hair to Locks of Love, I decided to get a trim to give my hair some shape as it grows for the next year.

What I got was the WORST haircut I've ever gotten in my LIFE. Here's my lovely, thick hair before --

And my poor hair after, post hack job --

My face says it all. First of all, the whole cut took 10 minutes - never a good sign. And you can't really tell from the pic, but my hair is completely uneven - it's a disaster. I should have read the Yelp! reviews before buying the Groupon deal. Ah well, I'll fix it later...

On the upside, I did indulge in some great lunch meetings, including one at Beverly Soon Tofu in Koreatown. Stone plate bibimbap - yum!

Plus several auditions - hooray! A particularly fun one at the Warner Bros. Studios --

In one of the houses along the fake street --

I love auditions on studio lots because I love taking in the details of fake streets like this one. Anytown USA - except for the giant mountain range behind the houses --

And the highlight of my week? Slaving away on my futuristic robot cop drama pilot...then hearing that both Josh Friedman and JJ Abrams sold their futuristic robot cop drama pilots. Sigh...maybe I should keep going. Or maybe I should take these buys as a sign from the universe and move on to something new. I haven't decided yet...

Happy fall everyone!

Pitching for Television

This is how I used to think television was made --

• Writers write scripts
• Agents submit scripts to networks
• Networks decide which scripts become TV shows

Boy, was I wrong.

The television creation process starts with pitching! Everybody pitches - writers pitch to their agents, agents pitch to production companies, studios pitch to networks - and these pitches are almost never scripts at this point. Just ideas.

Because everyone wants to develop an idea with the writer from the ground up - have their hands in the script and characters as they're being formed - to ensure a successful final product.

The odds are tough - here's the estimate I've heard about network television --

• Networks will hear around 500 pitches
• They'll buy 50-60 pitches to develop into scripts
• 8-10 of those scripts will be chosen to shoot as pilots
• 2-3 of those pilots will be greenlit to series

Still, plenty of writers will take those odds, because it takes less time to develop a pitch than it does an entire script. I have firsthand knowledge of the pilot development process and I wouldn't mind doing it again myself.

That's why I went to this event at the WGA last week - Successful TV Pitching in Today's Marketplace --

The room was packed with writers eager to learn more about selling a pitch. There was even an overflow area set up in the next room with a live video feed to accommodate more eager writers.

The panel was comprised of television writer superstars - Hilary Winston (Happy Endings, Community), Elizabeth Craft (Secret Circle, Vampire Diaries), Michael Oates Palmer (The West Wing, Rubicon), television executive Gina Girolamo (SVP of Alloy Entertainment), and producer/pitching consultant Bob Schultz (Great American Pitchfest, Below Zero), moderated by Melinda Hsu Taylor (Touch, Falling Skies).

The panel gave the room amazing information about shaping your ideas, delivering your pitch, and working with production companies and studios.

I already knew most of the information presented thanks to personal experience and my years of pitch training in the CAPE Pitch Lab, but I heard great stories and learned a few new things --

I finally learned to distinguish production companies from "pods," i.e. - production companies headed by non-writing executive producers that function autonomously within TV studios, working with writers to develop and produce projects. For example, Timberman/Beverly is a pod at CBS Studios.

A few more great takeaway tidbits --

• You're not just pitching the project in the room - you're pitching yourself as a partner they want to work with - they're not just buying the idea, they're buying you
  
  
• It's not enough for a comedy pitch to be funny - they want to know why they're going to fall in love with the characters and follow them for 8 years
  
  
• Never go in with a bad title! (Liz Craft said she and her writing partner Sarah Fain would rather pitch something as The Untitled Craft & Fain Project than go in with a bad title again.)

The first audience question of the night summed up what we were all thinking - how do you get a pitch meeting without an agent or manager? The answer was simple - you don't. You need an agent or manager with relationships to set up meetings on your behalf.

So if you're an aspiring television writer, keep working on those scripts to get a fantastic agent - and get ready to pitch!

Article Roundup

Note to self - the next time you get rejected by a potential manager, do not get drunk at your writer's group in front of people whose opinion you value. It will feel very embarrassing in the morning. Very.

A few articles I wanted to share --

TV Pilots 2012: The Complete Guide
A comprehensive list of all the pilots getting produced by the networks this season, along with updated cast lists.

Inside the writers room: Top scifi TV writers reveal tricks of the trade
Fantastic nuts and bolts advice from genre writers, including the always awesome Jane Espenson.

The Nine Trends That Are Dominating the 2012–13 Pilot Season
Alas, pilots about Hawaii did not make the list...

Denial Ain’t Just a River in Egypt

The day I found out the pilot I developed at CBS hadn’t been picked up, I sighed heavily for the briefest of moments before declaring my firm intent to move on. After all, I had plenty on my writing to do list – new pilot pitches, brushing up my last script, first draft of my graphic novel, typing out my Marblehead novel, etc. I could finally catch up with friends I hadn’t seen in months and blog every day with ease.

So what have I done since that day?

Nearly nothing.

Oh sure, I’ve been trying to work. A few hours here, thirty minutes there – producing worthless drivel. I’ve skipped a ton of days on this blog. And I still haven’t made lunch dates with friends.

Mostly I’ve been staring at the blank page, feeling about as creative as a cement block.

Finally, I could ignore it no more. I was in denial. I *am* in denial. My instinct to be professional and a go-getter had kicked in so that I didn’t have to face any feelings about my pilot not going. And I ended up in this limbo place where no creativity can bloom. Ugh.

So while I thank my spirit for trying to protect me, I’m going to let myself feel sad for a while. Because it’s a bummer that my pilot didn’t go. Yes, it was a wonderful opportunity for which I have incredible gratitude, but it’s over now. Just like theater actors have post-show blues when a show closes, I’m letting myself have post-pilot blues.

Sigh...

Anyone have any Ben & Jerry’s?

When the Lord Closes a Door, Somewhere He Opens a Window

I had the Tweet all planned out too. A link to this video with a cryptic "This happened today."



Alas, not this time.

The call came yesterday – CBS has finished its pilot pickups for the year. My pilot was not picked up.

Not the outcome I was hoping for, but not completely unexpected. My show concept was pretty out of the box for CBS, which knows its niche better than any other network – crime procedurals. I had a solid chance if they decided to do something different, but if you look at the eight pilots CBS did pick up, they clearly went with shows that are in alignment with their brand.

And no, I can’t take my idea to another network of make it myself as a Web series. CBS owns it and will for a very long time. It’s over.

But really, it’s okay. This has been an amazing journey for me and I’m so, so grateful to have had an opportunity like this. I’ve learned so much about writing, about myself, and about collaborating with other people. I was wonderfully supported and guided through the entire process – I am so blessed. It was an experience I’ll always cherish and will always have in my history.

So now I look forward to what the next chapter holds in my artistic life. Staffing season, a new pilot script, a novel…perhaps a graphic novel as well? Who knows? The world is my oyster now.

Here I come.

My Fifth Finish Line

It’s true what they say – having written feels so much better than writing.

After turning in the latest revision of my pilot yesterday, I spent a glorious day off running errands – oil change, post office, Costco run – all enjoyed with delicious ease and peace of mind as I reflected on my latest accomplishment – having written my fifth pilot script since starting my solo writing career. Five agonizing periods of beating out story, reworking characters, and rewriting, rewriting, rewriting that felt like hell while doing it but feel amazing now.

So many times I almost gave up – contemplated giving in to my left-brain, staying in Internet marketing, generally listening to my inner critic. But I didn’t give up. Writing can be difficult, uncomfortable work and even though I procrastinated plenty, I pushed through plenty of awful days and nights too.

And I’m so glad I did, because now I can say I have written five television pilots. And that feels pretty damned good.

(Of course, another writer I know told me he wrote nine TV scripts last year! Let’s see if I can even get close to that this year...)

Kicking My Inner Critic to the Curb

The inner critic is an unwanted house guest in any writer’s mind. He was never formally invited, he leaves a mess in every room, and he’s a real asshole too.

But even though we wish he would take a hint and leave, he’s always there. I’ve heard as much from accomplished writers of novels, screenplays, and TV series. He never leaves – you just learn to ignore him and his asshole ways.

My inner critic began an extended stay last month. As he kicked over tables and spilled red wine on the carpet, I wrote a TV pilot. I did most of my work at The Writer’s Junction, commiserating with my colleagues about how hard writing can be and how annoyed we are when non-writers knowingly or un-knowingly belittle what we do. “Just make those changes – how hard could it be?” or “I’m not a writer, but I’m telling you exactly what’s wrong with it, so I’m practically writing it for you.”

We laughed about how much we hate those people because they don’t understand how hard this is for us. Writing is hard. Experience makes it flow faster and with less pain, but it’s always hard. And I took pride in that. In the fact that I was struggling with the rest of them.

Meanwhile, I wrote and agonized and procrastinated and crammed. I finished revisions, going into notes sessions thinking, “This is terrible writing. Who am I kidding? I don’t know how to do this.” I was drowning and I didn’t even know it.

Then my friends came to the rescue. With a vengeance.

One friend was pointing out elements she liked in a TV script by an award-winning writer, and I said miserably, “There’s a reason she’s Oscar-nominated and I’m not.”

“That has nothing to do with it,” she replied instantly. “You’re just as talented.”

I was telling another friend about how much I hated the first draft I delivered to the studios because I was not a good writer, and he practically yelled at me.

“You are a good writer! Get those other words out of your vocabulary right now!”

That’s when I realized that I’d (foolishly) been listening to my inner critic. Listening, believing, and internalizing. Crap.

Because yes, all writers are bonded by this sense of struggle over the frequent dissatisfaction with our work, but we also share an undaunted spirit to keep pushing forward – keep the pen moving because a better paragraph is just around the corner. And those other writers at The Writer’s Junction – they don’t believe their inner critic’s bullshit. They know they’re good and they keep writing. It might bring them down for a moment, but that’s it.

Me? I had given my inner critic the master bedroom, made him a roast chicken, and was feeding it to him as he fed me a heap of lies – all before I could realize what was happening.

So I’m kicking him out of my mental house. Again. Knowing this won’t be the last time I have to deal with his shenanigans.

Because I am a good writer. And more importantly, every word I write makes me an even better writer. I’m struggling with the gap between my creative taste and my skill, but as Ira Glass wisely advocates, I’m going to keep pushing through.

Sorry, inner critic. There’s a lovely Marriott right around the corner. This is my house.